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| Come back Mitch ... |
A few things whisper suggesting a comment.
Whilst looking for the seeds which are thoughtfully sown to grow a strong tree with successful branches bearing fruit in every season and accepting that good man management applies to any group of men who find their talent and egos sharing conflict and celebration, there are elements of his approach that are unsettling.
For instance, when we find four or five blokes who are six seven, weight 25 stone and can jog along at Usain Bolt's shoulder, which one of them gets the new ball?
On match day, Clarkie might be able to sidle up to Siddle and give him the bad news that even though he's our best bowler it's his turn to rotate but with a man in Pat's Plan, the skipper might find himself folded neatly into quarters and tucked away in his own pocket.
Even if we don't get physically specific and opt for selective brobdingnagian recruiting, clearly the Australian team needs to pose a greater psychological presence over their opponents because, let's face it, the current crop doesn't present as physically intimidating. Since Mitch left the side, the snarl has melted like one of Dali's clocks in the middle of a surreal summer. Ponting's barbs are a bit past it. Most of the quicks are kids with attitude but without any of the really tasty, well educated and thoughtful lines that Hayden and Symonds produced, standing in close and constructing whole sentences of obscenities without an adjective or adverb in sight. In fact, without any other part of speech. Even the most aggrieved batsman would only ever want to hug the ever smiling Happy Hilfenhaus. At best, Siddle gets stroppy in the middle but then turns on the love at press conferences.
No, Australia needs some grunt and here Pat Howard may have it right. Its the Kiwi lead we can follow to set England and South Africa on their tails at the toss. Bugger just having everyone's favourite, the Short Haired Leader from Liverpool at the toss, let's bring all the boys out or better still, when the anthems are finished, Clarkie should reposition his men in a line, eyeball to eyeball with the opposition and then perform the Yakker. Loosely based on the New Zealand Haka, perhaps our own might go like this:
Tomato, tomato
sauce with pies
We'll eat them, we'll eat them
before your eyes.
Cold beer and red wine
pour it in you
We're going to get you out
in between the shouts
What d'you say?
What d'you say?
You're mine today
You won't get far
Oooooooohno
This would replace the rallying song being sung by individuals in those quiet moments of personal reflection so necessary to develop ruthless winners. Jonah Lomu was known to be a chronic journaller and Buck Shelford pressed wild flowers during his quiet moments. This current version has variations which the individual is encouraged by team management to explore. There is nothing more empowering that knowing you can decide where the full stops go. This is also based on the Haka:
Sustagen, sustagen
in my drink bottle.
Drink it, drink
12th man on a lottle.
Stretches and ice baths
before Lynx Voodoo
bonding with team mates
as I turn blue.
What did Mickey say?
I won't play today?
How's he know anyway?
My life's a cliche
Oooooooohno
Renee Geyer sang it ... are we heading in the right direction?















